I have your credit card

Jon A. Alexander, if you are out there, I have your credit card! Not that you would really mind much, it being 19 years expired and all... Today was rainy; it thundered and dripped most of the day. We're bums, but we finally got out and about to run errands along the Seawall. So many people were on the beach despite the overcast skies that I decided we had to join them. It was low tide - perfect time to add to my shell collection. I found some fun things: a leopard print shell, two pretty swirly shells (I couldn't keep them, as they were occupied by crabs - the first time I'd seen that on the beach) and half a sand dollar. After we turned to head back to the car, I spotted a credit card lodged in the sand. I picked it up, thinking I'd cut it up and throw it away so nobody could use it. As I rinsed my finds in the Gulf, I noticed the card was issued August 1, 1985 and expired the following July. I was three years old when this card could have last purchased gas or groceries.
Ok, I'm a journalist. We're always looking for a story - so I came up with some for the card.
Maybe Jon lost it in Mexcio while he was scuba diving, it floated on top of a jellyfish for awhile and then become the favorite toy of a dolphin, who gave it to a momma sea turtle for luck with her trip to lay her eggs on the beach at Galveston, and when she got here she met a seagull who was missing one foot (which we actually saw today!) and he carried it around until he learned to walk on the stump of his leg (which we actually saw him do!) and he left it for the aforementioned little crab whose "house" I almost stole, but when I put him back on the sand he was so thankful that he led me right to the card so I could have good luck too. (No, I haven't been drinking!)
I called the bank that issued the card and Alan made fun of me for being a goof. But the man I talked to didn't even call me crazy when I asked if he could see if Jon A. Alexander was still a customer. Several Texas men in with the name showed up, but the card number didn't. That means, the customer service man said, that Jon didn't live in Texas (so the man couldn't access Jon's records) or that the number had been deleted from John's account.
So I guess I don't get to find out how the card got lost in the first place, unless John reads this!